Don't Give Women A Bad Name

I almost forgot the March is Women's Month. What usually comes into my mind around this part of the year is the scorching heat and constant talk of numerous fires in the metro which has earned this month another moniker as the Fire Prevention Month. But I ain't talking about fires in this post. Not yet. I wanted to give tribute to women in society for this article. However, I don't want to it to sound cliche like they do in women's magazine, like "Ms. Tapia, defender of women's rights. Blah..blah..blah..." I don't want anything like that for a Women's Month special.

We've always heard of women who have made big contributions to society through their talent, services, and convictions. Women like Heidi Mendoza, who defied corruption within her agency to expose high-level embezzlement of public funds in the military institution; Danica Magpantay, whose sheer Filipina beauty landed her as the first Filipina to be declared winner of the Ford Supermodel of the Year; or former Secretary of Health Esperanza Cabral, who despite pressure from the Catholic Church, has continued to lobby for the passage of the Reproductive Health Bill.

But not all women are like these people I mentioned. The freedom which women enjoy since the introduction of women's suffrage at the turn of the century has created not just conscientious, liberated, and strong-willed women but has also spawned some bad, scrupulous femme fatales. Here are just some of the women who have given women a bad name:

ERLINDA LIGOT

"I'm sick! Can I go home now?"

The wife of suspected plunderer and former AFP comptroller Jacinto Ligot. This hypochondriac, who likes to skip Senate Blue Ribbon Committee investigations by faking sickness and confining herself in hospitals, is suspected of purchasing a number of property in the United States using military funds. In fact, she's so clever she was able to sell a house to her unmarried self. She might be the first in the country to do this time traveling feat. And of course, his husband knows nothing of it. (Lagi naman...)

DIVINA CABRERA

"Want some of my fiery vision?"

Meanwhile, this COA auditor assigned to the Intelligence Services of the Armed Forces is a pyromaniac. Not only does she like receiving kickbacks from military officials for making sure that diverted funds are not traced, she also likes to burn audit reports and other pertinent documents about her alleged activities in the ISAFP. Senator Franklin Drilon has since ordered COA to reassign her to a different agency. Now, whichever agency is this, they better be alarmed. A fire could start anytime soon and you know who's the bastard behind it.

VIRGINIA TORRES

 "PNoy and I, we love cars!"

I never thought women have such great fancy for cars until I heard of Virginia Torres. The former head of LTO Tarlac and now LTO chief has been accused of fancying stolen posh vehicles and facilitating ways to have them registered in different names. One notable case involves a stolen 1990 Mitsubushi Pajero, which Torres approved to be registered to a different owner while the vehicle is still filed as missing in Baguio City. No wonder parked cars vanish easily at Burnham Park. Torres has denied such allegations, so car owners beware! You're car might be next dahil may asim pa si lola!

MERCEDITAS GUTIERREZ

"Ang boring naman dito."

Meanwhile, Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez fancies plea bargaining agreements. She has recently offered accused plunderer and ex-AFP comptroller Maj. Gen. Carlos Garcia a deal to escape a plunder sentence by pleading guilty to charges of bribery and money laundering and returning Php 135 million out of the Php 303 million he stole from military funds. The Office of the Solicitor General was shocked at this offer as it could put such a big fish like Garcia off the hook. The SolGen has since asked the Senate and the House Committee on Justice to investigate Mercy. The investigation resulted in an impeachment complained which was filed by Akbayan and Bayan respectively. However, despite the threat of impeachment, the witch has stood her ground and is even flaunting her powers by meddling with cases filed against Gov. Neil Tupas Sr. of Iloilo, the father of House Committee on Justice Chairman Neil Tupas Jr. There really is no justice system here in the Philippines, as convicts can simply kneel down and plea for Mercy!

IMELDA MARCOS

  "Daddy wants a smooch?"

Why of course, we know her as the woman who fancied 2700 pairs of shoes, building all sorts of centers (Heart Center, Lung Center, etc) and Ferdinand Marcos. But despite her husband's regime being thrown out from power in 1986, the old hag still has plenty of power to wield. She is currently congresswoman for the her district in Ilocos Norte. Her eldest daughter, the governor of Ilocos Norte and her son, Ferdinand Jr, is one of the country's leading senators and possibly a presidential contender. Looks like Meldy will be adding new pairs to her stocks in Marikina. Imeldific!

P.S. There were no human rights violations during the Marcos regime. Shhh!

GLORIA MACAPAGAL-ARROYO

"Aahh...Father, can you hold it closer..closer!"

And of course, the cherry to top today's article, no other than the Rumpelstiltskin herself,ex-president Gloria Arroyo.

Famous achievement? She stole the presidency, not once but twice! And she left it with a great deal of money in her pockets. Wow! That's just great. Record breaking. I think the women above can't even top that. And despite gracefully going back into her private life and serving as congresswomen of her district in Pampanga, she still has the tentacles the could reach and grapple men in certain agencies and prevent them from discovering a trail to her cache of richness. And PNoy is not happy about it. Awghh...poor lad. Anyway, nobody's gonna be better at being bad but her. Bravo!