You’re
waiting for a call, a call that would give you your biggest cheer in months. A
call that would once again be delayed or would never come just like the rest you’ve waited for to
arrive.
Your
fingers both in your hands and feet are no longer enough to count the resumes
and cover letters you’ve sent, or the walk-in applications you made which cost
you time, effort and resources you’ve been trying to conserve. In no time, you’ll
be begging from your parents once more, an ordeal that eats away the manliness
in you. You have a degree and have done well in your craft, and yet here you
are, been stuck at home for the last six months. The only consolation you at
least have is that just like you there are around 2 million people in the same
situation you are right now.
You
retrace your steps, hoping to find out what mistake you made that got you here.
But unlike you, others just like got in this hole without a choice. There are a
variety of traps the led them here: retrenchment, company collapse, job
mismatch. But most of them are already in this hole by the time they finish
college. Some have managed to escape, a few weren’t so lucky. You begin to
wonder if you’ll suffer the same fate as theirs. You begin to pray, a thing you
haven’t done for quite some time. At one point, it might be God’s punishment
for you too, for not praying for such a long time. But you shrug off such idea
anyway.
You
want to curse the fates or anyone who might have been contributory for putting
you in this situation: God, the government, your old company. You start feeling
that all this is a conspiracy to ruin your way of life. Others like you have
even gone to greater lengths by joining Leftist rallies condemning government
inaction to their problems. Your parents have always said that such acts won’t
land you a job, that there’s no alternative to the same old “sipag at tiyaga”
formula. Therefore, you vow not to join such actions. But also recognize that
these people have a point to. After all, you haven’t seen or felt anything from
the government throughout your months in this kind of captivity.
Photo courtesy of AP |
You
gather what remains of your dignity. While still waiting for that call, you
humbly help with chores around the house, or volunteer as hand help in some
relative’s business. You’d collect all the recyclable trash around the house
and sell it at the junk shop. You’d sell all sorts of stuff ranging from clothes,
pandesal, ice candy, even your old books, all for the name of small income. It’s
the least you can do to maintain your slowly depleting resources. Never mind if
it makes a couple or so neighbors wonder, as long as you survive until the call
comes. They are entitled to their judgments, not that such judgments would hurt
you or anything. But it’s a different story altogether if former co-workers and
friends see you in such ordeal. You vow not get caught doing so.
In
your spare time, you’d scour for jobs on the Internet, or attend all sorts of
job fairs you’d hear of. Job fairs always have this air of sentimentality to
you: it’s where you and others like you converge for a day, going through the
same ordeals in the hunt for a job. You swear you won’t cry at the sight of
some rejected applications, but you do. It’s like speaking, communicating with
them, without actually talking. Just being one with them despite the hustle and
bustle inside the crowded exhibition hall.
After
like an eternity, the call finally arrives. No vessel would suffice to contain
the joy and excitement you feel after getting the much coveted prize. Somehow,
there is a sense of selfishness at the same time. You feel glad you are picked
and not someone else. But this is your moment after all. You’re gonna bask in
it with a sense of pride and achievement, but at the same time, with hope and
anticipation that the many others you’ve left behind well all get to escape
their captivity too. A silent anticipation that in some unforeseen future,
never will a time come that anyone will have suffer this vicious trap called
unemployment.
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